Q 1) Who is the experiencer?

Before writing my own reflections, I would like to begin with the theoretical understanding I have gained earlier. From the books of Swami Chinmayananda Ji, I remember the teaching that there are two selves within us. One is the true Self, the cause of all experiences of the outer and inner worlds. Knowing the outer world is comparatively easier. However, understanding the inner world is more difficult because most of us do not deeply reflect on what happens within us in response to our interaction with the outer world. Self-reflection requires us to see our inner deficiencies and even our darker aspects. Until we see and heal them, real transformation does not happen.

The second self is the self identified with the body, emotions, thoughts, and ideas. This apparent self moves toward the true Self through disidentification—separating awareness from what is experienced. Adi Shankaracharya Ji described this beautifully through the method of “Neti Neti” — “Not this, not this.” By consistently dissociating from our identifications over time, we gradually approach the recognition of the true Self.

When awareness is no longer identified with anything external and rests in itself, that experience is described as blissful. Usually, we seek bliss outside and only get occasional glimpses of it. But when the experiencer experiences itself, it finds what it has long been seeking. At that stage, the distinction between awareness and what it is aware of dissolves. Awareness leaves identification with the physical and outer self and becomes one with everything. The experiencer sees itself in everything, and the outside world’s separate identity dissolves into the experiencer.

However, for me, this understanding is still largely theoretical. In reality, I am strongly identified with the physical realm. I know what I experience, but I cannot clearly say who is experiencing in a factual sense. The experiencer feels somewhat mystical to me because I have always known myself in relation to objects. I feel that to truly know the experiencer, one must become deeply introverted in a spiritual sense. This comes through understanding spiritual knowledge and then applying it in introspection and self-reflection.

Meditation is one way to know oneself, but meditation as a half-hour practice may not be enough. One has to make one’s entire life meditative—turning every experience into an opportunity for awareness.

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